Impossible Things

“There is no use trying” said Alice, “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Lewis Carroll

It’s been a rough few years and things were just beginning to look up… I’ve got a tremendous group of friends surrounding me, July brought a promotion to library assistant, August saw me graduate from library school, I was able to refinance on my own, and I’ll be turning 37. I wanted to honor all of these big life moments, celebrate these impossibly good things and accomplishments despite all obstacles. So I thought I’d throw a party.  I was on the brink of sending the invite out when I learned that Dylan had a large abdominal tumor and then my car was stolen.  This was the same weekend, actually the morning of final presentation for my master’s degree.  Great timing.  So after sobbing uncontrollably for a few days, I decided to stop.

My dog has lived a wonderful life and is still here.  She is happy and pain-free.  And as long as she is happy and pain-free, I am going to enjoy her company and love her.  I can cry when she’s gone.  My car is gone.  I loved my car and attached it with feelings of independence and freedom.   But it is a car and eventually (hopefully) can be replaced.  And until then, I live in a city that makes it easy to live without a car.  I can walk to shops and grocery stores.  The public transport is good and my work pays for a travel pass.  I have signed up for zipcar and car2go to get me through those times when I might need a car.  And those tremendous friends I mentioned earlier, well, they are also there with cars to borrow or rides to offer if I am in need.

I am still having that party, only now the impossible things party is encompassing all the impossibly shitty things life throws at you too.  I’m thinking of it in terms of a liberal arts kind of life; I’m going to be one very well-rounded person in the end, right?

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Yes, July is a warm month

Walking along one day with a friend, I suddenly replied in a sing song manner “and there’s nothing we can do about it.”  It stopped me for a moment because it was so familiar…where had that phrase originated and why did I sing it?  And then I remembered…it was a shared memory, shared language from the marriage.  It was the very first song John wrote as a boy.

Yes July is a warm month

Yes there are clouds in the sky

Yes the trees are so gree eee eeeen

But we will have to say goodbye.

I’m going to miss you so from head to toe

But there’s nothing we can do about it.

Yes I’ll miss you so from head to toe

But there’s nothing we can do about it.

And so I leave you with those wise words on the last day of July.