Having made it through Christmas intact, I was surprised when I began to unravel come New Years. Why was this onslaught of emotions so unexpected? Well, I suppose I thought I had come through the hardest parts (husband’s moving day, spending Christmas alone, etc) that New Years, a holiday that was always quite mediocre as a couple together anyway, seemed easy peasy in comparison. I was wrong. New Years Eve found me calling around to my best girlfriends (I like to refer to them as wagons, as in circle the wagons) and sisters. It was a five alarm fire day, or as I called it, a 3 wagon 2 sister kind of day. After spending the day on the telephone, I celebrated New Years Eve with new friends and had my first tarot card reading.
The cards were full of major arcana and included the wheel of fortune (everything changes), the chariot ( surrender/new beginnings), the tower, which depicted a man falling or jumping off a tower—how very appropriate (having perceptions shattered and reassessing beliefs), temperance (transformation), and the hermit. It was clear that my current situation is in flux and there are new beginnings and transformation ahead as well as a whole lot of pain, turmoil, and self discovery. The outcome…the hermit card. Great. That is of course not what I wanted to hear. The reader of the cards then explained (after my spinster freak out) that the hermit is actually a positive card and not what one assumes. It does mean that there is some solitude, but it is needed to process things and be introspective. It is a time to think, to hold the light for oneself, and it will lead to enlightenment (one can hope). There is definitely a journey ahead…am I ready for it?